Your new blue passport

[Hamble]

I never thought I'd ever read anything on Q as barmy as the tales of Zuckerman and the Shadow People but this has rapidly turned into a leading contender. But then again...maybe the Shadow People were also involved in this plot?!

I start collapsing into giggles every time I reread the opening words, "Answer is simple..."

I gave him the benefit of the doubt until I Googled 'Have Dover Customs officers got a sense of humour'?

[silver fox]

Are you for real? So government agents were keeping tabs on a nobody's travel plans in order to carry out their dastardly plan to switch his passport? Did you notice men in black following you, possibly overhearing you discussing your travel plans? Did you book online, or in person? I never trust travel agents. There's always a danger they will alert the Home Office of your plans to leave the country.

I've honestly never heard of anything as ridiculous. Seek help

Clearly the men in black had got wind of his dastardly plan to ban cars and force everyone to use bikes, just keep an eye on him in case he intended to attack a car manufacturer,

[seivad]

I never thought I'd ever read anything on Q as barmy as the tales of Zuckerman and the Shadow People but this has rapidly turned into a leading contender. But then again...maybe the Shadow People were also involved in this plot?!

I start collapsing into giggles every time I reread the opening words, "Answer is simple..."

I confess I've snorted a few times myself!

Does HM's Passport Office have a hotline for people to call if they believe that a person's passport photo isn't a true representation of that person? Remember that PNP chose the good looking one. Is it more likely that t'other not so flattering one is closer to the real him? Their lines must be flooded with calls. And what an excellent use of taxpayer's money it is to trace that person, monitor them for future trips outside the UK, make a new passport with the ugly photo, wiz it over to the border control office they will leave through, then a hasty shuffle beneath the officer's desk and return the new improved passport to the unsuspecting traveller. Oh, and, if applicable, don't forget to make some wrinkles on the cover.

Or maybe it's simpler than that. Is the PNP a foreign agent? A chimney sweep is a great cover. Sort of a Basil Brush, Agent 003.5.

[Desert Region]

I confess I've snorted a few times myself!

Does HM's Passport Office have a hotline for people to call if they believe that a person's passport photo isn't a true representation of that person? Remember that PNP chose the good looking one. Is it more likely that t'other not so flattering one is closer to the real him? Their lines must be flooded with calls. And what an excellent use of taxpayer's money it is to trace that person, monitor them for future trips outside the UK, make a new passport with the ugly photo, wiz it over to the border control office they will leave through, then a hasty shuffle beneath the officer's desk and return the new improved passport to the unsuspecting traveller. Oh, and, if applicable, don't forget to make some wrinkles on the cover.

Or maybe it's simpler than that. Is the PNP a foreign agent? A chimney sweep is a great cover. Sort of a Basil Brush, Agent 003.5.

Helpfully, it turns out the Shadow People (AKA the Men in Black) have been monitoring this thread (with this being a Said thread 'n' all) and have been so kind as to sift through their historical files to track down and supply one of the photos in question...

[The PNP]

No spit!
Are you serious?

Absolutely. What's so unusual about Govt departments colluding behind the scenes? And why would I make up a story that was bound to bring on ridicule? I agree it's sufficiently unlikely, that few if anyone would believe it happened. But then that's the beauty of it, the perfect prank which makes the victim look foolish if he/she should try recounting it to a third party.

Btw, around that time of life, there were several other odd instances of note, as if someone was letting me know they were on my case. But no point going into details, that would simply lead to being scoffed at.

[Toodles McGinty]

Answer is simple, they must have known in advance that I was coming. My travel plans were no secret, I'd talked about going for some time, made preparations, etc. I may possibly have booked my ticket in advance, but tbh can't remember if I did or not. And let's not forget they only had one spare photo on file, so could only create one substitute passport.........Officialdom it seems, had for whatever reason - decided to play a prank!

When you say you had the best photo, they are rarely the most flattering. Perhaps passport lady thought she just couldn't let you roam the continent with a photo that could make hens stop laying.

I speak as someone whose last passport photo could make hens stop laying.

[Toodles McGinty]

Helpfully, it turns out the Shadow People (AKA the Men in Black) have been monitoring this thread (with this being a Said thread 'n' all) and have been so kind as to sift through their historical files to track down and supply one of the photos in question...

'Ere's yer passport step in time,
'Ere's yer passport step in time...

[Hamble]

Absolutely. What's so unusual about Govt departments colluding behind the scenes? And why would I make up a story that was bound to bring on ridicule? I agree it's sufficiently unlikely, that few if anyone would believe it happened. But then that's the beauty of it, the perfect prank which makes the victim look foolish if he/she should try recounting it to a third party.

Btw, around that time of life, there were several other odd instances of note, as if someone was letting me know they were on my case. But no point going into details, that would simply lead to being scoffed at.

I don't think you are making up a story just mistaken.

I am sure it would be illegal for a custom official in Dover to remove your endorsed passport photo and swap it for another.

Why do you think the Gov departments pranked you?
Had you in the past complained to them?

You say your passport cover was distinctly creased?
That in itself would make you a marked man.

I believe some passports are checked against stolen ones.

Have you got a nice shiny pristine one now with your best angle to camera?

[Hamble]

When you say you had the best photo, they are rarely the most flattering. Perhaps passport lady thought she just couldn't let you roam the continent with a photo that could make hens stop laying.

I speak as someone whose last passport photo could make hens stop laying.

I came across an old swing tag in a draw last week and thought who the ell is that.

You are as old as you feel-all lies.

[The PNP]

A) I don't think you are making up a story just mistaken.

B) I am sure it would be illegal for a custom official in Dover to remove your endorsed passport photo and swap it for another.

C) Why do you think the Gov departments pranked you?
Had you in the past complained to them?

D) You say your passport cover was distinctly creased?
That in itself would make you a marked man.

I believe some passports are checked against stolen ones.

E) Have you got a nice shiny pristine one now with your best angle to camera?

A) Thanks, I'm not making it up. I thought at first I must be mistaken, particularly in view of the distinctive creased cover - how could a photo possibly have changed? Had the cover not been creased, I would have found it a lot easier to conclude that the passport must have been swopped.

B) Question is, who owns a passport? When you pay for and 'buy' it, is it then legally your property, or does it remain property of the State?

C) No idea tbh. And no, I hadn't complained.

D) The pre-existing crease - which I didn't cause - appears to have been part of the prank. Presumably to make me think there had been no swap of passport, but that the impossible had happened. Namely, that the photo had changed all by itself - Back to the Future style!

E) Of course. But wish I looked younger each time I renew - not older!

[Desert Region]

Btw, around that time of life, there were several other odd instances of note, as if someone was letting me know they were on my case. But no point going into details, that would simply lead to being scoffed at.

Too right it would! So, Geez Louise, stop digging!

[said]

Thanks to the PNP mystery, I've discovered that the last 'blue' passport I have actually looks black. I've read many other ancients saying the same thing, but I honestly thought that mine was blue. Not so!

Weird! My old one was Blue.

[The PNP]

Too right it would! So, Geez Louise, stop digging!

Agree, getting tired of replying to this thread.....All I would say is, when magic appears to happen, there's always an explanation - however unlikely.

On the subject of magic, I knew a magician who worked the clubs back in the 60's, who let me in on a few of his tricks. One trick in particular would baffle whoever who took part.

It began with the usual, pick a card but don't let me see it. Of course Eddy (the magician) was always aware which card you had chosen - but didn't let on (pick-a-card is one of the oldest tricks in the book, nothing unusual about that).

Here's where it would get interesting: In your presence he would then ring someone many miles away and pass the phone to you. Amazingly, as you listened to the voice at the other end, it would always tell you which card you had chosen!

Turned out that the voice belonged to a pub landlord who was a friend of Eddies and had agreed to help him - probably in return for free drinks.

It went something like this:
Eddy: 'hello is Bob there'?
Voice: 'hearts, diamonds, clubs, spades'
Eddy: 'ok I'll wait' (spoken when voice says correct suit)
Voice: (counts from 1 to 10 inc picture cards)
Eddy: Hi Bob (spoken when voice reaches right number)

Without another word, Eddy would then pass you the phone - whereupon the voice would tell you which card you held......On learning how it was done, it all seemed so obvious. Yet without knowing how, a complete mystery - telepathy perhaps?

[said]

I never thought I'd ever read anything on Q as barmy as the tales of Zuckerman and the Shadow People but this has rapidly turned into a leading contender. But then again...maybe the Shadow People were also involved in this plot?!

I start collapsing into giggles every time I reread the opening words, "Answer is simple..."

Those who claim to know everything will never learn. Sigh! "Or maybe..just maybe shadows are just the absence of light over an object or person" The term "Shadow People" has been in use for centuries and has many meanings.

[Desert Region]

Agree, getting tired of replying to this thread.....All I would say is, when magic appears to happen, there's always an explanation - however unlikely.

On the subject of magic, I knew a magician who worked the clubs back in the 60's, who let me in on a few of his tricks. One trick in particular would baffle whoever who took part.

It began with the usual, pick a card but don't let me see it. Of course Eddy (the magician) was always aware which card you had chosen - but didn't let on (pick-a-card is one of the oldest tricks in the book, nothing unusual about that).

Here's where it would get interesting: In your presence he would then ring someone many miles away and pass the phone to you. Amazingly, as you listened to the voice at the other end, it would always tell you which card you had chosen!

Turned out that the voice belonged to a pub landlord who was a friend of Eddies and had agreed to help him - probably in return for free drinks.

It went something like this:
Eddy: 'hello is Bob there'?
Voice: 'hearts, diamonds, clubs, spades'
Eddy: 'ok I'll wait' (spoken when voice says correct suit)
Voice: (counts from 1 to 10 inc picture cards)
Eddy: Hi Bob (spoken when voice reaches right number)

Without another word, Eddy would then pass you the phone - whereupon the voice would tell you which card you held......On learning how it was done, it all seemed so obvious. Yet without knowing how, a complete mystery - telepathy perhaps?

Exactly...stop digging and start digressing!

If "there's always an explanation" sometimes it's best to tend towards applying the popular expression of the principle of Occam's razor.

In the instance of the magic trick, that would translate as it being a trick, not magic.

In the instance of the substitute passport plot, it wouldn't be to conclude that it was a plot or trick.