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Thread: Alcoholism

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
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    Alcoholism

    I would like to gauge the level of interest in something I am considering.

    In January my 40 year-old daughter died, having been an alcoholic for ten years. The level of alcohol in her blood at her death had been seven times the drink-drive limit. Her body had finally given up after all those years.

    Her mother and I had always thought it possible. But it was still a shock when it happened. She had been our first child, bright, funny, gregarious, first-class degree. Much to offer the world. Ambitious for a career and children.

    But she couldn't cope with events in her life and alcohol dulled the pain. Until alcohol itself created events which in their turn she needed to obviate. Four attempts at rehab, counselling, love from many friends and family.

    I would like to tell her story, and ours. Not to invite sympathy, but to help others- partners, parents, grandparents- to realise how common this is, what the signs might be, and how you might help. There is a common misconception that alcoholism is to do with down-and-outs and rough sleepers; of course, it is, but it exists behind many doors and in many families.

    My thought is to give a talk one evening, somewhere around Southport and it may provide a forum for those concerned, those who help, and those who want to be better prepared. I will talk about her life- by no means all sad- and the vital points where things could have been different.

    I need a venue. Obviously if there is a charge I need to recover that; but I would invite people to contribute to Alcoholics Anonymous, who helped both her parents and my daughter sustain some quality of life as this all unfolded.

    Who might be interested in being there?





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  3. #2
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    I know you aren't looking for sympathy, but I wanted to say how sorry I am that you've had this terrible experience.

    While I'm not aware of any addicts in my family or immediate circle, I have seen how it changes lives.

    I admire your strength in reaching out to others. I hope that anyone who needs help comes to you for support.

  4. #3
    Join Date
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    There's an awful lot of drinking going on behind closed doors, they trundle into Aldi, Tesco etc buy a few things and their daily fix.

    Maybe a Supermarket might let you hand out some leaflets because a lot of them don't go anywhere else.

    A youtube video would reach a lot more people and in their homes, hopefully.

  5. #4
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    Sorry to hear your story. Very sad to lose someone close so young.

    I had a very bad period of depression just a few years ago and totally dependant upon alcohol too at the time. I attended a few AA meetings and was shocked how many people were so dependant upon alcohol, drinking at all times of day. I personally only drank at night so felt better that I hadn't hit that level of low personally. Hearing other people stories was very helpful. People freely shared their experiences, not for sympathy but really just to be honest to at least some other people. Experiences I listened to were to people with similar problems, an outsider would have a learnt a lot about seeing the signs.

    I admire what you are doing, and as said above maybe a youtube video may help as well.

  6. Likes whiplash, AdmiralAckbar liked this post
  7. #5
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    May 2016
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    Perhaps have a word with the Temperance Society on London St ?

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    Southport
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    What a courageous post, like Toodles although you aren't seeking sympathy can I say how sorry I am for your loss.

    Places I know you could use:

    Lord St West Church Hall but they do charge, their booking number is 01704 530007 they are only there Wednesdays 11am - 1pm.

    All Saints Church Hall, they don't charge me for a charity night for Queenscourt so not sure in general hall usage terms perhaps under your circumstances they would wave their booking fee - David Town 01704 538506

    Marshside Road Church Hall, again they don't charge me for a charity night for Queenscourt so you would need to ask - 01704 227296 marshsideroadmethodistchurch@gmail.com

    I also use Fleetwood Hesketh Social Club again they don't charge me so you would need to ask, obviously it is a social club so there is a bar in the room but it can be shuttered off - Michael Pearce 01704 227968

    Hope this is of use and good luck for you brave venture, very best of wishes to you, your wife and family.

  9. Likes Chris R, N/A, whiplash liked this post
  10. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by bensherman View Post
    I would like to gauge the level of interest in something I am considering.

    In January my 40 year-old daughter died, having been an alcoholic for ten years. The level of alcohol in her blood at her death had been seven times the drink-drive limit. Her body had finally given up after all those years.

    Her mother and I had always thought it possible. But it was still a shock when it happened. She had been our first child, bright, funny, gregarious, first-class degree. Much to offer the world. Ambitious for a career and children.

    But she couldn't cope with events in her life and alcohol dulled the pain. Until alcohol itself created events which in their turn she needed to obviate. Four attempts at rehab, counselling, love from many friends and family.

    I would like to tell her story, and ours. Not to invite sympathy, but to help others- partners, parents, grandparents- to realise how common this is, what the signs might be, and how you might help. There is a common misconception that alcoholism is to do with down-and-outs and rough sleepers; of course, it is, but it exists behind many doors and in many families.

    My thought is to give a talk one evening, somewhere around Southport and it may provide a forum for those concerned, those who help, and those who want to be better prepared. I will talk about her life- by no means all sad- and the vital points where things could have been different.

    I need a venue. Obviously if there is a charge I need to recover that; but I would invite people to contribute to Alcoholics Anonymous, who helped both her parents and my daughter sustain some quality of life as this all unfolded.

    Who might be interested in being there?

    As parents it must have been a torture as much as the illness was for your beloved daughter I am so sorry.

    I wish you would write a book before you take on public speaking.
    From your post you have the skills.

    Your daughters story would reach so many more people.

  11. Likes daviebaby liked this post
  12. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    So sorry to hear about your daughter and what you have been through as a family. Addiction of any type can affect any family at any time despite their environment.

    As part of my degree we studied addictions for a term last year and I would be very interested in attending a talk on the subject to hear the personal side to this illness.
    Maybe health professionals or students studying health would like to attend too. You could always drop leaflets at doctors surgeries, the hospital, local colleges and maybe Edge Hill Uni. The better informed people are the better that are able to help or at least spot the initial signs of addiction.

    Sending hugs to you all, as parents we can only do our best and sometimes in very testing circumstances xx
    Volunteers needed now

    Southport And Formby Special Athletes
    Registered charity no. 1037697

    www.southportspecialathletes.org.uk

  13. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
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    Southport
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    There is a local group of people who meet up and come together to talk about their experiences with alcohol. It is not AA, it is a completely non-judgemental meet up of people who have been through the difficulties that alcohol abuse can bring and the story you have posted is exactly the kind of thing they talk about and I think you will find it very helpful.

    The Recovery Circle
    Dawn: 07548607902.
    Southport Community Fire Station
    Saturdays: 10:30am -12:30pm
    Every 2nd tuesday at 6:30pm - 8:30pm
    .

  14. Likes steve, The Debster liked this post
  15. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
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    alcohol is such an easily available crutch ,a space of escape,a few moments f calm and cosy nurture,till at nights respite sought ,those awakening mid hours its turmoil wroughts such angsts till dawning lights risings and bodys processes,gives way to dawns few hours of restfull exhausted sleep till rising to lifes essential needs we rise to face the day ,in neccesaties led with recovered dismay,tis yet another day!!!.if only we all took a step back and embraced each other in acceptance of each as we are,and just took the time in unjudgmental sharing of eaches time with ours being.and just listened and heared with grace of being ,then maybe that connection that we are shared and embraced may make that difference to anothers hidden despairs!xxxx

  16. Likes TownieChap liked this post
  17. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by bensherman View Post
    I would like to gauge the level of interest in something I am considering.

    In January my 40 year-old daughter died, having been an alcoholic for ten years. The level of alcohol in her blood at her death had been seven times the drink-drive limit. Her body had finally given up after all those years.

    Her mother and I had always thought it possible. But it was still a shock when it happened. She had been our first child, bright, funny, gregarious, first-class degree. Much to offer the world. Ambitious for a career and children.

    But she couldn't cope with events in her life and alcohol dulled the pain. Until alcohol itself created events which in their turn she needed to obviate. Four attempts at rehab, counselling, love from many friends and family.

    I would like to tell her story, and ours. Not to invite sympathy, but to help others- partners, parents, grandparents- to realise how common this is, what the signs might be, and how you might help. There is a common misconception that alcoholism is to do with down-and-outs and rough sleepers; of course, it is, but it exists behind many doors and in many families.

    My thought is to give a talk one evening, somewhere around Southport and it may provide a forum for those concerned, those who help, and those who want to be better prepared. I will talk about her life- by no means all sad- and the vital points where things could have been different.

    I need a venue. Obviously if there is a charge I need to recover that; but I would invite people to contribute to Alcoholics Anonymous, who helped both her parents and my daughter sustain some quality of life as this all unfolded.

    Who might be interested in being there?
    I am sorry that you have lost your daughter. Parents should never have to go through losing their child. Alcoholism is a form of escape, along with mental depression and illegal drug use. These are issues that John Pugh has a great interest in and he has been active in trying to introduce clinics and a hospital in the local area in respect of the growing number of affected people. It may well help you, if you could contact him. I wish you all the best in your endeavours.

  18. Likes Moi liked this post
  19. #12
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    Jun 2002
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    Quote Originally Posted by bensherman View Post
    I would like to gauge the level of interest in something I am considering.

    In January my 40 year-old daughter died, having been an alcoholic for ten years. The level of alcohol in her blood at her death had been seven times the drink-drive limit. Her body had finally given up after all those years.

    Her mother and I had always thought it possible. But it was still a shock when it happened. She had been our first child, bright, funny, gregarious, first-class degree. Much to offer the world. Ambitious for a career and children.

    But she couldn't cope with events in her life and alcohol dulled the pain. Until alcohol itself created events which in their turn she needed to obviate. Four attempts at rehab, counselling, love from many friends and family.

    I would like to tell her story, and ours. Not to invite sympathy, but to help others- partners, parents, grandparents- to realise how common this is, what the signs might be, and how you might help. There is a common misconception that alcoholism is to do with down-and-outs and rough sleepers; of course, it is, but it exists behind many doors and in many families.

    My thought is to give a talk one evening, somewhere around Southport and it may provide a forum for those concerned, those who help, and those who want to be better prepared. I will talk about her life- by no means all sad- and the vital points where things could have been different.

    I need a venue. Obviously if there is a charge I need to recover that; but I would invite people to contribute to Alcoholics Anonymous, who helped both her parents and my daughter sustain some quality of life as this all unfolded.

    Who might be interested in being there?
    I think this is a great idea - even if it helps one person or family, it is well worth doing.
    "May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one." - Firefly (TV Series)

  20. Likes Moi liked this post
  21. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
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    Southport Alive & Sober Monday

    St Philip & St Paul Church (Upstairs Rm), 37 Scarisbrick New Rd.
    Time: 10.30 - duration 1hr
    Postcode: PR8 6QR
    Southport Lunchtime Tuesday

    St Philip & St Paul Church, Hampton Rd/Scarisbrick New Rd
    Time: 13.00
    Postcode: PR8 6QF
    I am unsure who runs the sessions perhaps pop in on a Monday or Tuesday. There is also an A A meeting at Lord St West church unsure of the time

  22. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    No words

    There are no words that I could say that would come close to expressing how sorry I am for your loss. I would be honoured to support any event you hold in your daughters honour.

  23. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
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    I would like to thank everyone who has been so kind and thoughtful in their comment and suggestions.
    When I have something sorted I will post details here

  24. Likes Hamble liked this post
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