Cycle bollards revisited

[The PNP]

You're definitely mistaken on both counts!

"Round at yours" Oh, please, please do elaborate...! Did you swoop down the chimney at night while everyone was asleep! Are you some sort of creepy, pervy Santa?!

You didn't do very well on backtracking about your 'friend' who supposedly told you all about Local and their purported coal-collecting on a beach, did you? Well, you're going to find it harder to backtrack from this one!

I've obviously mistaken you for someone else.....The person I alluded to, was walking along a towpath with his charming wife, who was pushing a bike that had a flat. We stopped and chatted for five mins, already having met before i.e. when I popped round to buy something from them on the Kew estate.

[Desert Region]

I've obviously mistaken you for someone else.....The person I alluded to, was walking along a towpath with his charming wife, who was pushing a bike that had a flat. We stopped and chatted for five mins, already having met before i.e. when I popped round to buy something from them on the Kew estate.

Hmmm. No mention there of having met that couple at the Flower Show, I notice.

[Stuartli]

Hmmm. No mention there of having met that couple at the Flower Show, I notice.

PNP is an expert at squirming out of difficult situations if and when it suits him (all the time, in fact).

Southport's biggest hypocrite.

[Desert Region]

Perhaps you are a dodgy sweep after all...

I'm suspicious now about exactly where he's planning to stick that...

[donkey22]

Perhaps you are a dodgy sweep after all...

I'm suspicious now about exactly where he's planning to stick that...

Up the flue obviously, where else would you shove it?

[seivad]

Hmmm. No mention there of having met that couple at the Flower Show, I notice.

Pretty soon he'll be accusing you of sneakily swapping his passport for another one with a less flattering picture. BTW, how did you manage to replicate the crease on the cover? I was also impressed at how fast you managed to laminate the picture. If ever I'm in need of a fake passport, I know who I will be PMing.

[The PNP]

Hmmm. No mention there of having met that couple at the Flower Show, I notice.

Can't be sure, as I've been to the FS many times and said hello to many people in there. But I do remember that the person I thought you were (and his partner) both posted regularly on here (back when it was SGB). I don't recall seeing any posts from her since the site changed its name, but do recall he changed his 'handle' once or twice, which is probably what threw me.

[Desert Region]

Can't be sure, as I've been to the FS many times and said hello to many people in there. But I do remember that the person I thought you were (and his partner) both posted regularly on here (back when it was SGB). I don't recall seeing any posts from her since the site changed its name, but do recall he changed his 'handle' once or twice, which is probably what threw me.

As a supposed 'explanation', that makes even less sense.

This is my only account. I haven't had a previous account. I haven't posted on this site (or a forerunner of it) prior to this account. My 'partner' (!) doesn't post via this account. My partner doesn't have an account, nor has had one previously. Etc...

I'll choose not to correct other errors...

...though I will add I've never lived on the Kew estate, nor any other estate!

Anyway, to recap: you did not meet that "charming couple" at The Flower Show, where we'd actually met you. Hmmm.

On a more serious note, I am noting that your saying you've "been round" to mine is another way of telling me that you know where I live. N.B. I and others could easily have more to say about that, P, but suffice to say that unlike you my residential address isn't posted on the internet...

I'd suggest you stick to cycling, rather than continuing to try your cack hand at fishing.

I'd add more but there's the doorbell chiming and I guess that must be Local who's come round for our weekend tradition of setting off to the beach to collect coal...

[Desert Region]

Up the flue obviously, where else would you shove it?

If only there was somewhere to get a flue liner from.

[said]

PNP is an expert at squirming out of difficult situations if and when it suits him (all the time, in fact).

Southport's biggest hypocrite.

Not quite! Looks like you have ousted him.

[Desert Region]

Pretty soon he'll be accusing you of sneakily swapping his passport for another one with a less flattering picture. BTW, how did you manage to replicate the crease on the cover? I was also impressed at how fast you managed to laminate the picture. If ever I'm in need of a fake passport, I know who I will be PMing.

It was the work of a multi-agency taskforce combining British Intelligence and Saudi intelligence -the General Intelligence Presidency (GIP)- plus equipment supplied by the United States Air Force (USAF).

The PNP was identified as a dangerous and highly influential subversive, whose amazing bohemian charisma -as evidenced to all and sundry inside the haze of Dutch 'coffee' shops- was predicted to be soon radically taking England by storm, culminating in automobiles being banned and bicycles being made mandatory within a generation.

There were many cunning plots hatched and undertaken, attempting to 'defenestrate' his powers, but all to little avail, and worse, it was suspected the all-knowing, ahead-of-the-curve one was growing wise to our games: as indeed recently confirmed by the PNP himself:

Btw, around that time of life, there were several other odd instances of note, as if someone was letting me know they were on my case. But no point going into details, that would simply lead to being scoffed at.

Finally, his primary weakness was identified as being his unshakeable belief in his being a "hipster God's gift", a man so prone to vanity that should he be forced to repeatedly confront an image of himself looking anything less than a "hippy Greek God" it was predicted that the psychological damage caused by that trauma could nag away at him for decades to come and so ring-fence his power and influence to a more parochial scope.

He was the subject of a vast surveillance web. It was known where he was and what he was doing at every moment, as was where he would be and when he would be there sometimes weeks in advance. It was suspected he knew as much - but that knowledge of his wasn't going to be enough to prevent what was coming:

Answer is simple, they must have known in advance that I was coming. My travel plans were no secret, I'd talked about going for some time, made preparations, etc.

Indeed.

The exact details of the enabling technology of Operation Pass-the-Port-and-the-craft-beer are, seivad, ones that I'm not allowed to divulge, but I can mention that AI provided by the USAF from Area 51 was instrumental in instantaneous crease replication and picture lamination.

Maybe one day the "PNP" will get round to amending his 'handle' to "P's NPD".

In other sad news, I have to observe that Local was a bit grumpy about the meagre pickings from our beach-based, coal-collecting activities earlier today.

As Local aptly put it: "What a load of absolute bollards!"

[Desert Region]

Not quite! Looks like you have ousted him.