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Thread: The new rhymes

  1. #1
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    The new rhymes

    In the old days of winter - people would make up Nursery Rhymes to lighten the mood. They were not intended to suit the woke type people, they are light hearted to brighten the mood of winter. If you do not like the following - can you do any better?

    Sing a song of benefit money
    With a pocket full of ecstasy
    24 dragons on the fly
    Far to big for a pie

    The pie could not be opened
    The dragons cannot sing
    But the war lord king
    Enjoyed the whole thing

    Sitting in his counting house
    Counting out the drug money
    While the queen was being blessed
    Surgically with an enormous chest



    The media stories go round round round
    Round round round
    The media stories go round round round
    Round round round all day long

    Lies and more lies go round round round
    Round round round
    The lies and more lies go round round round
    Round round round all day long



    Old England Mother of the Free, has a farm
    And on that farm, there is a bomb
    With a bang bang here, and a bang bang there
    Here a bang, there a bang
    Everywhere a bang bang.

    Old England Mother of the Free has a farm
    And on that farm is a terrorist
    With a bang bang here and a bang bang there
    Here a bang there a bang
    Everywhere a bang bang.





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  3. #2
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    Surely fairy tales are more your forte?

  4. Likes Toodles McGinty liked this post
  5. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stuartli View Post
    Surely fairy tales are more your forte?

    You are a better story teller than me - so I will leave it to you, the expert.

  6. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by said View Post
    You are a better story teller than me - so I will leave it to you, the expert.
    Well it seems that yet another one at which I'm superior to you to notch up on my bedpost.....

    It's certainly not difficult.....

  7. Likes Toodles McGinty liked this post
  8. #5
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    In a town of posers
    The lead one looks like Moses
    Spend our money on cycle lanes
    Old lady falls down.

    He uses lots of different names
    Attacks the ones that show distain
    Consensus says no to cycle lanes
    You’ve been told .

    Meetings where councillors hide away
    Perhaps they’ll return another day
    They just want the funding to spend away
    Anyway they please.

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  10. #6
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    3 little Saids sitting on a wall,
    One named Said, the other 2 an' all,
    If one gets a ban,
    The other 2 stall,
    Then back come the Saids
    To have another fall.

  11. #7
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    Norman Wallis built a Small Wall
    Along comes a cyclist and has a great fall
    All of Qlocal and all the townsmen
    Said look where your going or it will happen again .

  12. #8
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    There's a forum poster called Said
    Who has all sorts in their head
    One day they are Arthur
    On another they are Martha
    Both with a lack of street cred

  13. #9
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    There used to be a market in Southport
    Only once did it ever burn down
    Locals loved this place then they put up the rents
    and said “pay up or get out of town”

    Pay up or get out
    Pay up or get out
    Pay up or get out of town.

  14. Likes said liked this post
  15. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by MICK/GILLY View Post
    There used to be a market in Southport
    Only once did it ever burn down
    Locals loved this place then they put up the rents
    and said “pay up or get out of town”

    Pay up or get out
    Pay up or get out
    Pay up or get out of town.
    There have been several fires at Southport Market the last one in the 70's or 80's. (anyone want a cheap leather coat the fireman have got some)

  16. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stuartli View Post
    Well it seems that yet another one at which I'm superior to you to notch up on my bedpost.....

    It's certainly not difficult.....

    No,, you just get a sharp bladed knife and cut a cleft out of it - pretty near your skill level I suspect.

  17. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by MICK/GILLY View Post
    There used to be a market in Southport
    Only once did it ever burn down
    Locals loved this place then they put up the rents
    and said “pay up or get out of town”

    Pay up or get out
    Pay up or get out
    Pay up or get out of town.

    I like that one - Brilliant!

  18. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by *concerned* View Post
    There's a forum poster called Said
    Who has all sorts in their head
    One day they are Arthur
    On another they are Martha
    Both with a lack of street cred

    Ha!Ha! well at least you are in the spirit. Nice to see some light hearted wits on here.

  19. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by MICK/GILLY View Post
    Norman Wallis built a Small Wall
    Along comes a cyclist and has a great fall
    All of Qlocal and all the townsmen
    Said look where your going or it will happen again .

    Ha! This is fun! Well done.

  20. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toodles McGinty View Post
    3 little Saids sitting on a wall,
    One named Said, the other 2 an' all,
    If one gets a ban,
    The other 2 stall,
    Then back come the Saids
    To have another fall.

    At last! A crack in your leathered skin. Good to see you in spirit.

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