ALONG WAY HOME..................

SAT 13TH AUG............att 203


SOUTHPORT TRINITY 3RDS 2 V 5 THORNTON


Sperrin................................65,.....Collins 32,
Young.................................74,.....Williams 57,61,Jones 84,89


With player manager Simon Rushton making the shock decision to carry on his playing career at the 11th hour,this meant that the squad he had assembled would surely be unbeatable this forthcoming season,Rushton's problem left back position has also been solved,with local plumber Michael Wareing slotting in to bolster last seasons leaky defence!!

With Wareing,Hodge,Campbell,Smyth,Abram and the charismatic figure of Gregory all unavailable due to rumour has it,that they were all at the S.T.D.clinic after a long weekend away at Pontins in Scarborough.

With season ticket sales that have recorded an all time high,it was no wonder that nearly 200 die hard fans made the trip down the Fylde coast to this lovely corner of the globe,the pitch looked immaculate,ideal one thought for Trinity's fast accurate passing game.

Skipper Young won the toss and decided to kick into what was quite a strong wind coming in of the Irish sea,the Roe Lane based outfit should have taken the lead as early as the 7th minute when Rushton found himself in acres of space only 7 yards out with just the keeper to beat but his tame shot was easily gathered.

Trinity held firm against a good young organised Thornton side for half an hour,but then in the 32nd minute Cahill misread a swerving strike gifting the home side the advantage going into the break.

After only 12 minutes had gone in the second half Trinity's woes were doubled,as they went two behind,conceding a sloppy goal caused by poor marking from a jaded looking midfield diamond formation,things went from bad to worse only 4 minutes later as another one slipped through Cahills fingers into the net.

Last seasons player of the year Carr limped off along with new summer signing Aspin,to be replaced by the permanently tanned Clark,and the impish figure of Young(jnr).

Trinity nearly went further behind as a rash tackle by Young saw the official point to the spot,he can count himself lucky he was still on the pitch to see the resulting kick saved by Cahill.

This was the boost that Trinity needed,Sperrin reduced the deficit with a cool finish on 65 minutes,the boys in black and blue were now pushing forward at every opportunity then controversy!!!! Young clearly had the ball over the goalline by a good 2 miles,but the rather rotund Irish official who could quite obviously not keep up with play,was unable to give the goal from his position on the half way line.

Young left the ref in no doubt 5 minutes later as he crashed the ball home from close range after good work by Rushton and Rawlins on the right,Trinity kept pushing forward in search of an equaliser,Gautrey and Moran tireless in their quest,this meant that gaps started to appear at the back especially with Wild reverting to a makeshift forward,eventually this was their downfall as late in the game they conceded two goals to give the final scoreline an unfair reflection on Trinity's hard work and possession throughout the 90 minutes.

Rushton was unavailable for comment at the end of the game as he was receiving oxygen from the St Johns ambulance crew for a good half an hour after the final whistle,luckily enough we caught up with head goalkeeping coach Jeff Rimsky Rimmer who was seen shaking his head and muttering to himself,when asked what he was chunnering about he said," It helps if the daft sod between the sticks puts his gloves on the right way round to start with,i've got a lot of work to do with this fella in the season ahead it looks like it's going to be a long long year".

There will be no STATOS CORNER this week as Chris is recovering after his recent treatment from his ill fated trip to the North Yorkshire coast.

Next week Rushton's rebels are away again coaches leave Roe Lane at 12.30 prompt.

Report by Steve M Young

Well, well , well, looks like the same old story, a team that conceeds 5 goals on the first day of the season, what team did manager Rushton pick. I am too old to travel these days so it will be another year of looking out of the top window when the boys return to Roe Lane. I suppose it will be the same bunch as I had to watch last year plus a couple of new faces, nice to be back boys BJH.

SUNSTROKE FLOORS THE GAFFA!!!!!!!!!!!

GANUD 3 V 9 SOUTHPORT TRINITY 3RDS


SAT 20TH AUG att..................172

Player manager Simon Rushton decided to take his two most experienced players,Steve "Yard dog" Young and Chris "Ironman" Hodge for a round of golf the day prior to this weekends game,unfortunately for the gaffa he forgot to pack his factor 25,and with hours spent in the heavy rough the midday sun slowly began to take it's toll,penetrating through the thin layer of hair that is left on Simon's dome (Bobby Charlton lookalike...!),making him quite delerious,even to the point that on the penultimate hole with things all square he played the wrong ball,this being an infringement of the R & A rules he would normally have been disqualified,but with a long season ahead Young and Hodge decided to withhold any complaint,as this could seriously damage their chances of being in the starting line up for some time.

On returning home that evening Rushton's wife (the long suffering Martine) soon noticed her husbands predicament,it was at this point that her aromatherapy classes came to the rescue,as later that night in bed she gently massaged some sensual oils into Simon's shiney red throbbing head..

With Rushton only on the bench due to his sunstroke and Young(jnr) in Spain for talks with Madrid about selling their new range of Ronaldo stlye teeth at Soccer City,this meant a welcome return for ex Southport,Marine and one time Rookery domino legend John Morgan up front,the rest of the team was unchanged.

The surface ressembled something Neil Armstrong first stepped out onto many moons ago,apart from a slight sprinkling of grass.

Trinity started poorly with no-one seemingly interested on this hard bumpy pitch apart from ex Hells Angel Carr,who was in the thick of things from the off,the home side had numerous chances to take the lead in the opening half hour,a lack of class in front of goal would cost them dearly,as with 10 minutes before the interval Morgan capitalised on a goalkeeping error to slot the ball home from 5 yards out,he then doubled the advantage with a cool finish from just outside the area,Trinity should have gone into the break two up but a missed tackle by Young allowed the Ganud winger to send in a cross that took a wicked deflection passed Cahill,as the ball looked to be trickling across the goaline Carr smashed it in off the upright much to the disbelief of his fellow team mates.

The second period started the same way as the first had ended and it was no suprise when the home side drew level with a well taken header with 60 minutes gone,the tempo of the game moved up a notch as Trinity went into overdrive,amazingally scoring five goals in the next 10 minutes the pick of these being Morans piledriver from 35 yards out.

After 75 minutes had gone there was a medical scare,as Morley seemed to have a slight stroke in the centre circle,a position he'd never moved from all game,although he seemed to recover he was consequently replaced by the energetic Drewitt,Rushton then appeared in place of the injured Aspin, Gautrey trudged off next after verbally abussing the Gaffa, Rawlins entering the arena as his replacement.

The home side did claw one back,but there was just enough time left for Morgan to complete his hat trick and Sperrin to finish off a second half romp.

An upbeat manager said afterwards "The first half we played like pantomine characters and the second half like premiership stars I can't work this lot out,two games played 11 goals for and 8 against,no wonder ticket sales are going through the roof".

Trinity have a midweek game on Wednesday against local opposition Amateurs who beat them three times last season, kick off is at 6.30

Report by Steve M Young

Originally Posted by All Rounder

that night in bed she gently massaged some sensual oils into Simon's shiney red throbbing head..

Originally Posted by 14 RED

More like ...............

Just come back off my jollies yesterday to see the season has started already!! good to see they have found consistent form from the off
As for playing golf, well those three stooges may have found a sport they can play when they retire, which if you've seen them try to play football can't be long good luck for the season ahead lads you'll need it. When is the first home match?

TRINITY BEAT TWELVE MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOUTHPORT AMATEURS 2NDS 2 V 3 SOUTHPORT TRINITY 3RDS


WED 24TH AUG................att 247

Scorers Amateurs..Haw 33,Treciopath 73......Trinity...Hodge 5,Bainbridge 53,Morgan 71


TRINITY TEAM
1.DARREN CAHILL
2.NICK WILD
3.PAUL CARR
4.SIMON RUSHTON (MANAGER)
5.STEVE YOUNG (CAPT)
6.WILL SPERRIN
7.PAUL MORAN
8.GARY ABRAM
9.JOHN MORGAN
10.CHRIS HODGE
11.RICKY BAINBRIDGE
SUBS, S.ASPIN, A.CAMPBELL, A.DREWITT, P.MORLEY, T.CLARK

With this crucial local derby coming so early in the season, it was imperative that Trinity continued their form on from last Saturdays resounding away victory at Ganud UTD.

Rushton brought ex Marine AFC and Shake Vaults legend Ricky Bainbridge in to bolster the midfield,as in this corresponding fixture last season Trinity went down 6-4,they also lost their other two games against Amateurs in 2004/5,so this was a must win game,for local pride if for nothing else....!

With no official turning up,the home side had to provide a suitable replacement,but could only find their manager Tony "Blinkers" Alty,Trinity kicked against the breeze in the first half,the smell and sun setting over the sewage works proved difficult to a Trinity side used to playing on the carpet like surface provided at the Rookery.

Things could not have started better though,as the away team took control from the off,and with only 5 minutes gone,a stunning strike from last years golden boot winner Chris Hodge, on his first appearance of the season put the mighty Rook's one up,this after an exquisite through ball from Bainbridge had released this predator into the area,his finish was lethal from a yard out.

Trinity knocked off after the opening goal,allowing their opponents too much time on the ball,and on 16 minutes were nearly made to pay,as a swerving shot from Whitehead whistled passed the upright,then on 23 minutes came the talking point of the match,as a long ball released Morgan who had a clear run on goal,he looked up to see the Amateurs keeper was rushing towards him at least 10 yards out of his box,the ball looked as if it was sailing over his head towards an unguarded goal,this surely would've been the easiest tap in the ex Southport star would have ever had,but the keeper stuck up a hand blatantly stopping this goal scoring opportunity,surely he was about to be sent for an early bath and the first go of the "soap on a rope" in the showers,but the one sided,blinkered home official did nothing,it was at this point Trinity realised instead of playing against 10 men for the remainder of the game they were now up against 12 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amateurs drew level in the 33rd minute with a well taken goal by Hawafter both Young and Rushton were outpaced,not for the first time and definitely not the last time,it was ironic that the last action of the first half saw the home keeper make a great save with his feet from a Rushton header,the fact of the matter is he should have been just getting out of the shower by then and rubbing himself off...!

Trinity started the second half with a high tempo,attacking the Coast road end where their 200 strong travelling army had gathered,it only took them 8 minutes to regain the lead, excellent work on the right by Sperrin released Wild,whose first time cross was met by the salmon like leap of Bainbridge,who angled his header into the far corner of the net leaving the keeper stranded.

The Roe Lane based outfit were now pilling forward at every opportunity,completely overwhelming Amateurs twelve men,who were reeling from this constant pressure,and sure enough on 71 minutes the home side succumbed,this time it was Morgan who cooly slotted past the advancing keeper from 12 yards out,after being played in by Hodge.

Even though the home side did pull a goal back through their inspirational Italian centre half Roberto Trickycocki,Trinity never looked in danger in the closing 10 minutes as their back four were impenetrable,Amateurs did end the game with 10 men as a late legal lunge from Young saw Lloyd hobble off,the final whistle was blown by the blinkered stand in official with Trinity winning by the odd goal in 5,this would have surely been more, had the rules of this beautiful game been applied properly.

In there quest for glory this season Trinity have employed the services of organic dietary expert Ray "green fingers" Baines we caught up with this fitness guru immediately after the final whistle,to say he was pleased was an understatement,"Our lads were fantastic tonight,it could've been a cricket score with a bit more luck,the most satisfying thing for me was that both Young and Rushton did the full 90,i've had these two loafers on extra spinach and pasta all week to help with their energy levels,and it's obviously paid dividends."

Two more points come to the fore this week,first being that the football club would like to wish both Phil "Fizzer" Buck and his lovely bride-to-be Rebecca all the best on their forthcoming marriage on September 10th,people will probably remember Phil in his early television days as Eddie Yates's stunt double in Corrie.

The other point being that Barry Short who is 3rd in the all time scoring charts at the Rookery,has written an apology to the league committee for his appalling behaviour that dragged the good name of this club through the mud almost three years ago,this maybe a coincidence that it coincides with him finishing the decorating,Mrs Short asked him to do three years .

Trinity have no fixture this week but the week after they are away at Leyland Red Rose.

P..W..L..D..F..A..GD...PTS.
3..2..1..0..14..10..+4..6..

Report by Steve M Young

Steve Young was caught on the pi$$ at Fleetwood Hesketh on Saturday,saying that his Rookery career may be up shortly,if the manager doesnt give him the free flowing role he craves for in the centre of midfield next weekend against the Red Rose side.................

Not a bad start for the "senior" 3rd team. Won`t see the best of them though until they have had their first all nighter in the Rookery, Keep Rushton off the Stella though or we may have another Rawlins/campbell incident involving a few disgruntled men who have been left on the bench, in their opinion, far too long! May I be the first person to say congratulations to Dan Smyth on his tremendous goalscoring form since his return to the club his father served so well for many a year. The break has done him good, he looks a different player! Stop it!!
Same cant be said for another stalwart, Andy Rawlins. Played 2, won 2 since he`s been unavailable. Hope you enjoyed the wedding! May I also wish a speedy recovery to The Colonel who only lasted 30 seconds today due to a back injury which he claims occured during a challenge with an opposition keeper. Nothing to do then with a new wife, a honeymoon, a spanish holiday, a poorly positioned wardrobe & sex advice from Sting and Trudie!!!

Word in the north stand is that Ruston is bringing in two big money signings and to pay for them is shipping wonderkid Young (obviously jnr) to Real Madrid for a bargain price of 13,000,000euro's(about £9,000,000 in real money). Young jnr had no comment but Vanderlei Luxemburgo Real Madrid's manager said, "Somos interesados muy en Young Jnr, pero Ruston lo puede olvidarse para 13,000,000 euros"

Real Madrid This Morning Pulled Out Of A Deal To Sign Danny Young.Apparently Manager Rushton Tried To To Add Young Snr To The Deal , Also Keeper Cahill In A Swap For Casillas. Just Another Case Of Bad Management By Rushton. Cahill Ok But Young At His Age Ridiculous

Tuve un problema con mi nombre. Fue mas largo.

Es verdad que quisimos Danny Young, pero no es verdad que pagaríamos 13m euros. Cuando Rushton dijo Young Snr, fue incluido, el trato fue terminado.

Espero que podemos concordar un neuvo trato, pero, quién sabe!

Adiós para ahora.

V.Luxemburgo

On Trinity TV today Danny Young came out with an astonishing outburst at manager Ruston saying, " It's ridiculous, i could be playing in La Liga now if it weren't for Ruston trying to ship out as many coffin dodgers as he could as part of my deal. I was halfway through my medical when Luxembergo came up to me telling me the deals off. I was shocked, i wanted to stay there but he said sort your manager out, we don't want Young snr or any of them who can't even play chess in their nursing homes never mind play here in Madrid, the home of gallactico's". by this point Young jnr was in tears.

GOOD NEWS for Trinity though, Danny's staying and hopefully for the long term to keep all us in the North stand happy.

Well Well the new season is under way for those bunch of old pensioners that call themselves a football team and according to the ape of a manager a good start they have had. I wonder has Rushton been taking lessons on how to manage off Barry Fry or was that the fashion class he went to! A few new signings for the circus, sorry i mean team this year hope fully a bit of youth can be brought into the regular 11 this year bringing the average age of the squad below 215! Honestly how you get all your supporters its beyond me its like watching a day out from the hesketh centre!
Until we meet again
MR X

Just found a picture on Danny Young's website of him and Luxemburgo outside Madrid's training ground.